Darkness....then LIGHT.

Hi again!

In my last post, I hinted about how things have not really been going OK with me mentally....well, on completing my book on The balanced Christian life, I became very depressed! Like I had zero will to do anything. Why is life so hard? I asked myself, Why do we suffer so? Why do good people suffer? What is the point of it all? I am Ugly!...yeah I got there....I cannot be who He wants me to be, I am a failure! It is hard to succeed at anything!  I was in a very dark place. I resorted to a very bad habit I am trusting God to help me overcome and naturally I felt worse with myself. I struggled to get out of bed and face the world, poured myself into work, but when I got back , I retreated into this dark place.

Deep in my heart I cried out....'Save Me Abba'

And what He whispered in my heart amazed me..... 'Dammie, I have saved you, this one is on you, you need to snap out of it! I have given you all that you need that pertains to life and godliness, so snap out of it!You know who you are in me so stop believing lies! and while you are at it, stop being so hard on yourself! give yourself a break!'


 :O ....I was 'shockprised!'  I sure was not expecting that! Hmmmm. Chale! Still pondering on that.

So lets us just say, I snapped out of it! It tried to rear its ugly head severally, but I am a survivor!!


I have a friend, she is also going through this 'darkness' and I spoke to her about what the Holy Spirit told me, another friend had told her the same in not so many words....I pray she finds her way out as well. I pray she feels Abbas love like never before! Amen.

As I was discussing with her, something dropped in my heart...something really profound that has just helped me put things in perspective...like!!!!


I heard a question, Dammie, why do you think you are on earth? Why do you think man is here?....A lot of us actually feel like the earth is some 'holiday getaway' or 'Airport lounge' where we lounge and have fun, amass wealth and 'oppress' those that we can in the name of blessings......Naaah, that is not why we are here! We are not here for the 'comfort' of man. The earth is actually a refiners fire, and we will ALWAYS feel the heat. The reason we are here is to learn obedience through the things we suffer...It is so that like gold, we can come out pure like He intended. It is so that we build strength of character, the character of a leader, of a ruler, of a 'Son'. And that is what Jesus came for.....to show us the WAY! The TRUTH!, and The Life! .


So the earlier we grow some thick skin, the better. Knowing that whatever happens, as a saint, there is a purpose, a greater good.....though we go through fire, it will not consume us....ALL things are working together for our good!!


And all I can say is that I felt Peace! I trust Abba, I trust the work he is doing in me!! I trust that He is able to make me into who He intended me to be!


I trust Abba! and that is enough!!!


I SEE LIGHT......Do you?